Fitness: Short, strenuous, effective – Is the trampoline the salvation for sport haters?

EIt’s not flirtatious, really. I hate sports, absolutely and with all my heart. As a child I did ballet, that was okay, then I played a bit of tennis, but the trainer always passed the balls to me optimally, “so you don’t have to run so much”, yes, he was very nice, but maybe not a good coach. Then winter came and I stopped again.

That was about 23 years ago, and since then I think once a year that I really need to “do something” again. After all, it’s everywhere, for example on Instagram and in the Pharmacy Umschau, and I’m getting older, so it’s becoming more and more important, as they say. The problem: I just don’t feel like it. Absolutely none.

I dread exercise and feel bad afterwards

Nevertheless, I still pick myself up every now and then. Signed up for abs-legs-buttocks classes, for “Yogilates,” even at the gym. I can handle everything for a few weeks, sometimes even months, but I always dread it, it’s never fun, it’s always just my guilty conscience that sends me somewhere. And no, I don’t feel “reborn” afterwards or what other people say, I feel bad.

And here I felt really bad

Once I tried to jog because I was given a nice outfit as a gift, it was the worst thing I’ve ever done. I trotted down the residential streets of my neighborhood feeling silly and like an imposter, then ran way too fast out of embarrassment, had a heart attack panic over the incredible stitch in my side, and never tried again.

And yes, of course I did workouts on YouTube, but nothing kept me going except for a little stretching, euphemistically called yoga, every now and then. My endurance, as you can imagine, is non-existent, sometimes I think it should be different, but then it becomes far too strenuous for me.

The metabolism continues to work for 24 hours!

Now I discovered something on the internet again. Trampoline jumping has been a trendy sport for a while now, and trampoline halls are opening everywhere. Sarah Kuttner tweeted about it, then suddenly I saw almost every YouTube video advertising a supposed miracle trampoline that promised so much for a good, yet sporty life:

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Jumping on the trampoline would stimulate fat burning, activate the muscles, stimulate lymph flow, strengthen the bones, massage the intervertebral discs, strengthen the core and core muscles and so on, it sounded wonderful.

And the best thing was: “Training on the trampoline releases your body’s own endorphins.” You would be happy, happy, in a good mood, jumping would provide you with happiness hormones and it would be FUN. The next best thing was that ten minutes of trampoline would be equivalent to about 30 to 40 minutes of jogging and the metabolism would continue to work for 24 hours after the workout. Little exercise, but effective, and not completely terrible, that’s something that sounds doable to me.

Short, tiring, effective

I borrow the “Bellicon”, which I know from YouTube advertisements, for four weeks. Depending on the size and features, it costs between around 400 and 900 euros in the online shop. But there are also cheaper devices – footballer Cacau promoted Joka trampolines, and Jump Sport also offers foldable versions with rubber ring suspension.

There are also trampolines for under 100 euros at various discount stores, but these usually have steel springs, which puts more strain on the joints and is less durable than a rope ring suspension. I also need a trampoline whose legs I can fold up – I don’t want my living room to constantly look like a gym.

At first I’m scared, a trampoline in the middle of the living room is unusual, I swing up and down without my feet leaving the mat. Bellicon offers introductory training and a 15-minute standard program, which is definitely recommended for getting to know each other. You hop back and forth, twist at the waist, turn in the jump, I quickly become braver and get a feel for the device.

I notice that my shoulders and neck are also relaxing, which I didn’t expect at all, and I want to try more soon. Unfortunately, the classic high-jumping that we know from childhood is not really part of the trampoline workout. That would be too easy, after all, this is still sport here.

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It doesn’t work without instructions, so I look for other workouts on the internet. This is a bit complicated, many are not demanding enough even for me because they are aimed more at older people with back problems (the trampoline can help here too!), others are really terrible because you have to run and trample into the trampoline for minutes. But I find my middle ground workouts, 15 minutes of jumping, a few jumping jacks, a bit of alternating jumps, remind me of ballet back in the day.

And: No, it’s really not that bad! Yes, it gets tiring at some point, after ten minutes you’ll definitely be sweating, but not in that heart-pounding, I-hate-it way. Okay, I don’t break out into endorphin-fueled howls of happiness either, but I’m not frightened, I feel pretty good on the trampoline, light, a bit ballerina, if it gets too strenuous, I just jump a little and get back on at some point. I experience this sport differently than purely functional squats or terrible burpees.

The trampoline trains your arms, legs, back and circulation

Yes, there are certainly workouts that are more effective than what I’m doing here – but what I’m doing now, what I can actually bring myself to do on a regular basis, is better than doing nothing like before. The trampoline is not my enemy, there is quite a lot of variety and exercises for arms, legs, butt, back, you name it.

I don’t have any sore muscles, I feel okay afterwards, and when the YouTube trainer quotes this NASA study from the 80s, I’m highly motivated and confirmed: Because the NASA Ames Research Center and its Biomechanical Research Division found out back then that that training on the trampoline is “the most efficient, effective way of training that man has yet devised.”

Twice as effective as jogging

Sounds great, that’s what I want to hear. There are various other studies that confirm this, for example the International Journal of Sports Science published data that showed that training on the mini trampoline is twice as effective as running in improving “aerobic fitness”. I google “aerobic fitness” and whether I need it – it’s about improving the cardiovascular system, so it can’t hurt. The AOK, for example, also recommends trampoline jumping as a precaution against osteoporosis, so I let my mother jump too. However, there is a downer: Midwives and postnatal experts point out that too much trampoline puts a strain on the pelvic floor and increases the risk of incontinence (this has been found, for example, in high-performance trampoline athletes, but for me it is currently in the sense of high performance no danger).

As the weeks go by I find a rhythm with the trampoline, three times a week as recommended, I can’t always do it, but at least sometimes. I can jump while watching TV, in between – and then there’s this nice thing: I can also just lie on it wonderfully with this suspension, which is good for my back. And it lasts longer than 15 minutes.

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The article first appeared in 2018, but the author is still hopping!