How “baby reindeer” creates awareness – Thought world

With a touch of black humor, Richard Gadd explores in “Baby Reindeer” the terrible consequences he suffered from unresolved trauma and the neglect of his own psyche.

A young comedian feels sorry for Martha, a customer in the bar where he works, and decides to offer her a cup of tea. This seemingly insignificant, compassionate gesture marks the beginning of a complex and destructive relationship. So begins “Baby reindeer“, a British drama thriller miniseries.

Below we look at the psychological profiles of the main characters in this series. What motives drive their decisions and actions? Is it possible to prevent the effects of past trauma on relationships?

Warning: This article contains spoilers.

“Reindeer Baby”: Possession, Bullying and Trauma

This series is not linear, predictable or categorical. She approaches sensitive topics such as grooming, traumatic experiences and difficult attachments from a multi-faceted perspective, without offering simple judgments or deterministic definitions.

Richard Gadd, the lead actor and creator of the series, was inspired by his own life experience. He wanted to create a narrative that did not define exactly who is good and who is evil, who is healthy and who is sick. In an interview he said: “No one is good or bad. We are all lost souls searching for love in our own strange ways.”

The series begins as a comedy, but the plot takes a dark turn, leaving viewers with a simmering fear that is difficult to describe. Both Martha’s vulnerable gaze and Donny’s self-destructive choices reflect deep pain and trauma.

Below we analyze the personality traits of the main characters and the motives for their actions.

Martha

In “Baby Reindeer”, Martha (Jessica Gunning) is portrayed as a successful lawyer. However, both Donny and the audience soon discover that this is not true and that she is actually suffering from Loneliness and fear of abandonment suffers.

Due to her desperate need to feel loved and some misunderstandings with the comedian, Martha is convinced that she is in a committed relationship with him. She sends him 41,000 emails and 350 hours of voice messages, visits him every day, and exposes herself to rain and extreme cold to wait for him.

She even attacks her ex-partner and bullies his parents. There is no single disorder that causes this type of Bullying behavior caused by a variety of factors. Behind the profile of a bully there are often dysfunctional personality traits such as emotional instability, low self-esteem and the inability to accept rejection.

These properties can in turn be insecure attachment styles, psychological trauma or, in more complex situations, be associated with clinical diagnoses such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, borderline personality disorder or psychotic structures.

Donny

Donny is an aspiring comedian who works in a London bar for a living. He was once encouraged to pursue his dreams as a stand-up artist by a well-known comedy writer who offered him his mentorship.

The author gave him self-confidence through flattery and praise, but this was just a manipulative ploy to abuse and rape Donny in every way possible.

In the hope of becoming a great artist and with a shattered self-esteem Donny meets with his abuser over and over again and has to relive these traumatic situations over and over again. He cries out to be seen, heard and loved. Because of this need, he finds some satisfaction in Martha’s obsession with him. The tendency toward self-destruction is evident in his personality.

This goes so far that when he falls in love with a transsexual woman who is ready to give him real and healthy love, he is unable to take care of this relationship.

Can unresolved trauma lead to self-destruction?

As the episodes of “Reindeer Baby” progress, we viewers are drawn into a spiral of Tension, helplessness and self-doubt drawn in. We wonder why Donny allows the bullying and why it takes him so long to set boundaries. It is not until the sixth chapter that we get an answer from his own mouth: “I am a magnet for all kinds of crazy people. I knew she was dangerous, but she flattered me and that was enough.”

Donny shows a mysterious ambivalence in terms of his interest in Martha. Sometimes he rejects her, other times he seems to play along. This also allows us to understand that Martha’s belief that Donny is in love with her is not completely delusional or irrational. The Scottish comedian is burdened with complex, unresolved traumas that lead him to make decisions that are difficult to understand. His low self-esteem, which stems from horrific experiences, feeds the destructive cycle of self-sabotage and self-doubt.

Donny clings to harmful relationships to validate his worth, not realizing that he deserves more than he gives himself credit for.

“Reindeer Baby”: Coping, processing, healing

Donny’s healing process begins when he succeeds to put one’s feelings into words. Without planning it, in the middle of a show that doesn’t go as he expected, he bare his soul by revealing his innermost truths to the audience.

He confesses to the audience, but above all to himself: “I loved her very much, but I loved to hate myself more.” With this he refers to the woman he had fallen in love with and to his self-destructive tendencies. At this moment he reveals his vulnerability and begins to redefine his story. By facing his deepest wounds, he takes the first step toward reconciling his past and ultimately building a more fulfilling future.

“Baby Reindeer” makes us aware of how people can become victims of their own unresolved wounds. Martha desperately and compulsively searches for love, while Donny repeatedly takes the path of self-sabotage. Both find themselves in a cycle of suffering in which their dynamics reinforce each other. Taking care of mental health plays a crucial role in preventing such consequences. A psychotherapy makes it possible to heal emotional wounds and strengthen self-esteem.

Images: Netflix